DivorceandFamilyMediationCenter.com

Hoist With Your Own Petard

  When people ask me what is necessary in order for a mediation to be successful, my response is “a willingness to cooperate and negotiate in good faith.” These are words of wisdom from my mediation mentor. If the people who walk into my room have even a modicum of intention to that purpose, mediation is possible. Without it . . . well, you know.

Prior to mediation, couples do not have to have agreed to anything, see eye to eye on the issues or necessarily want the same things. What they do need is an intention to work together, plain and simple. When they do, magic can happen.

However there are times when it becomes clear that one (or both) of the parties may be participating either in a disingenuous or self-serving way. In that case, the possibility to create a mutually agreeable outcome is rather slim. Read the rest of this entry »

Star Trek Wisdom

  Let me start off by disclaiming that I am not a Trekkie. However, I did grow up watching the original Star Trek TV show and readily admit to watching the reruns over the years. I followed up watching the second and third reiteration of the show (loved Patrick Stewart) and saw the first five Star Trek movies. Did I say I wasn’t a Trekkie? Well at least I didn’t dress up as Uhura and attend the conventions! Just watching William Shatner sprout hair post series alone is worth a re-look. Read the rest of this entry »

To Complete or Not To Complete

  One of the many advantages of mediation is that clients set their own pace to accomplish their goals. That said, on a regular basis, I review my client files to see which ones are still open and incomplete – clients who, for a variety of reasons, have not scheduled a follow up session.   Some couples come in and want to get things done “as soon as possible” or as one wife described it: “I’d rather pull the band-aid off fast”. For those couples who want to move forward quickly, we schedule the sessions in a steady stream, they tend to work on issues with each other outside of our meetings and they stay the course until the Settlement Agreement is signed. All of this is accomplished in pretty short order. Read the rest of this entry »

The Post Separated, Single Parent . . . Couple

Part II

  When crafting a parenting plan, the most important consideration is that the children have as much access to both parents as possible. Research strongly suggests that children who are co-parented by loving, involved and cooperative parents are significantly impacted in a more positive way in both the short and long term. They become happier, more confident, and well adjusted adults. This just makes sense. Read the rest of this entry »

Ada Hasloecher, Mediator & Marty Gofberg, JD – Discuss the Contrast Between a Mediated Divorce and a Litigated Divorce

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A Tale of Two Families (Or – do I have to divorce my ex’s family too)?

 How often do we hear the lament of the grandparents who now have limited access to their grandchildren as a result of their own children’s vitriolic divorce? What about the nieces and nephews who once had a close relationship with their aunts and uncles? Clearly, a couple’s separation can affect more than just the parties themselves and their own children.

 One of the beautiful things about choosing to mediate instead of litigating your separation is that it allows you to create the possibility of expanding your options rather than limiting them. In a mediated setting, you and your spouse can craft an agreement that benefits both the immediate family as well as the extended family.

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