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Mediation, The Sensible Approach
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I have had many situations where one person wants to talk about the past and why they got here while the other is constantly looking at his/her watch and pointing out how much this is costing and that this is not therapy. You are absolutely correct; it is the job of the mediator to make sure the needs of each client is considered, addressed and ultimately resolved. The trick is to honor the needs of each person without losing the other.
There is no “trick” per se in putting forth the “rules” of etiquette to be observed during a mediation event. I initiate each interview with the “rules of behavior” to be observed. My goal is to have each party have his/her say to completion, repeat it for clearance, then go from there on to the other outstanding subjects, by mutual agreement,to be examined. Each party knows they will have equal address to the subject(s). This has worked just fine over the years. Granted some parties get “carried away” but it is the responsibility of the mediator to intervene and remind the party (parties) of the rules of etiquette during the session(s. This has worked well for me for the past ten years and releases a lot of implied pressure that sometimes can derail a good session.
My husband used mediation in his divorce and I’d say it did help. Yes a child was involved. His ex refused to give him time with his daughter and the mediator helped his ex realize he needed time and she was be unreasonable. So yes it helps.