DivorceandFamilyMediationCenter.com

Irked

  As I was driving to the office one day in early February and listening to NPR (National Public Radio), I noticed that not one, but several broadcasters during the course of the programming, pronounced the month of February as Feb-U-ary. Now these are well educated, well read professionals so I was a little taken aback by the mispronunciation. And it bothered me. Is it so difficult to put the RU in FebRUary? Is it really such a tongue twister? This is not the first time I’ve noticed this trend, but lately it seems to be coming thick and fast and I wondered why I was so irked by it.   Read the rest of this entry »

To Complete or Not To Complete

  One of the many advantages of mediation is that clients set their own pace to accomplish their goals. That said, on a regular basis, I review my client files to see which ones are still open and incomplete – clients who, for a variety of reasons, have not scheduled a follow up session.   Some couples come in and want to get things done “as soon as possible” or as one wife described it: “I’d rather pull the band-aid off fast”. For those couples who want to move forward quickly, we schedule the sessions in a steady stream, they tend to work on issues with each other outside of our meetings and they stay the course until the Settlement Agreement is signed. All of this is accomplished in pretty short order. Read the rest of this entry »

 

Modification Of The Agreement

  During the mediation couples will often ask: “What happens if we want to change something in our Agreement once the divorce judgment has been signed – how do we do that?” This is a great question. After all, although the Agreement is somewhat static, life is fluid and circumstances change.

One of the provisions many couples include in their original Agreement is to return to mediation together to resolve these issues. This is a lot less costly than trying to litigate and attempt to resolve in court. After all, they worked things out together in mediation, why not continue in that process if there is a need to modify the Agreement in the future?

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How Do We Get “There” Together?

 

In Part 1 of the “Financial-Emotional Conundrum” I touched on how the emotional aspect of our nature can often rule our responses to the many situations that either we bring to life or that life brings to us. One of the biggest, our financial situation, is frequently ruled by emotions.

When couples are considering a separation, one of the most challenging and important areas to be explored is how to allocate the available resources (money) so that both parties and the family have enough to live on. This can be a great source of emotional anxiety as the partners may feel that their safety and security is about to be threatened. When this happens, logic takes a back seat, feelings overwhelm and the fight or flight instinct kicks in.

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How Does The Budget Look Once We Are Separated?

Good question!  One of the biggest concerns when contemplating a separation or divorce has to do with finances.  How are we going to afford to live separately and apart?  Some couples have already thought it through and considered it to some degree, but there are many seemingly inconsequential details that have to be taken into consideration.

I believe that before we can move forward in any meaningful way, one of the most important things to be done is to fill out, what I refer to as, a post-separation budget form.

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THE FIRST STEP

In any major life decision, the first step is always the hardest.  You can spend hours weighing the pros and cons, researching on the Internet, talking to friends and family. . . but eventually you have to take that first step toward resolution.

In a separation/divorce situation there are a number of decisions to be made, the first of which is whether to try mediation or go through litigation.  Not sure of your options?  Then the first step is to pick up the phone and make the call.

When you call the Divorce and Family Mediation Center, you will get a comprehensive overview of the mediation process:

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If one person wants out of the marriage, inevitably the separation will occur. It’s only a matter of time and the method they choose to effectuate process. When one spouse is reluctant to end the marriage, it puts the “initiating” spouse in a difficult position. On one hand, the initiating spouse knows how hard this will be on their spouse but on the other hand they may still feel that separating is the best alternative to a marriage that no longer works for them. Read the rest of this entry »

The question of who stays in the house is a big concern when couples are contemplating a separation or divorce. It is one of the topics that is discussed and negotiated in separation & divorce mediation. Read the rest of this entry »

Couples considering divorce or legal separation need answers to their questions. Read the rest of this entry »

Divorce Mediation is voluntary process in which an unbiased, impartial third party helps people negotiate with each other to create and develop their own agreements. Divorce mediation focuses on the couple, their children and the well being of the entire family as it transitions into a new family structure. In this self -determining process, the mediator, as a neutral party, helps to put the decision making in the hands of the couple by guiding and facilitating the voluntary agreements they make with each other. Read the rest of this entry »