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Can I Keep My Pishke?
Ada L. Hasloecher2017-01-24T05:11:27-05:00Categories: Finances & Divorce, House & Property, One|Tags: Ada Hasloecher, Divorce, Divorce and Family, Divorce and Family Mediation Center, Divorce Mediation, Finances, Financial Disclosure, Hiding Money, Mediation, Mediator, Pishke, Separation Agreements|2 Comments
Ada, that was a wonderful story to share. I grew up with my dad being a small town lawyer (as was his dad) and my mom a brilliant woman who was born 30 years too soon (she would be running a major non-profit likely today!) who as was common, a stay at home mom. She ran the finances of the house, putting cash into about 20 different envelopes in a kitchen drawer. There were envelopes for the mortgage, property taxes, utilities, food, going out, vacation, charity, and so on. (Today we do the same thing, but all electronically.) It was my mom who had my brother and I keep track of all of our own expenses while we were in high school (as her father had done for her), and opened checking accounts for us in high school and taught us to manage our own money.
When I got married, my wife (although my name is Sandy, I am male) and I merged our finances (in reality she had no assets and just student loan debts, while I had substantial assets from investing starting at age 13) and we each had our own allowance on a monthly basis to do with whatever we wished. We also had equal access to all of our bank accounts and investments. But it was each of us having control over our own allowance account that gave us each independence.
Although helping divorcing couples negotiate financial settlements is the majority of my business today, I try to help them provide financial life skills for their children. Having a pishke (or its equivalent) is a wonderful thing for each of us. Hopefully it won’t ever be needed for divorce, but if that is what is needed, it is essential for both of the couple to have put aside enough assets to not be forced to wreak havoc on their financial future by needing to draw down on their retirement funds or sell assets at an inopportune time.
Many thanks for starting the discussion. Brought back some wonderful memories…
“In mediation, all monies are discussed and fully disclosed for transparency and fairness . . . those caches will need to come out of their hiding places and be put on the table.”
If only.