DivorceandFamilyMediationCenter.com: Questions

Questions

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some of the benefits of a mediated divorce?

Consider the difference between a battle and a negotiation. Mediation is less contentious and therefore a mediated divorce costs less, takes less time and is less painful. While over 97 percent of divorces are settled by an agreement between the couple anyway, why expend the time, energy, and money fighting? Mediation just makes more sense for you, your children and your pocketbook.

How is mediation different?

Untieing the Knot

Mediation acknowledges that the relationship is in transition. This is an important distinction. In a litigated setting there is a great deal of “ us versus them”, aggressive bargaining and time consuming (and expensive) legal games. Mediation focuses on where you are now and where you need to go in the future. The parties come to accept the disappointment and sadness while understanding the need for ongoing cooperation in order to move forward with mutual respect and the well being of the whole family.

How does the mediator help the couple emotionally?

There is no doubt that when a relationship is not longer viable it is a sad event no matter who initiates the separation. While we don’t dwell on the past, the mediation process allows the couple to express their hurt, fear, anger and pain. The mediator helps to acknowledge and address the underlying anxieties and reframes the issues to help the parties focus on mutually acceptable solutions. Because we pace the mediations specifically to the individual couples, there is time and opportunity for healing to occur.

Does mediation work for everyone?

No, but it works for most couples and not just for couples who already know how to cooperate. Cooperation does help move things along most expeditiously but an experienced mediator can work with couples toward that collaboration. Mediation does involve full disclosure and a willingness to negotiate in good faith. Couples must be able to speak freely and frankly about their needs in order to negotiate mutual solutions. If one party is a stronger negotiator, the mediator will help to balance the power in the room and make sure that all voices are heard.

Who are the mediators?

Mediators are professionals trained specifically in Divorce Mediation.

What other resources do we provide?

We take a multi-faceted approach to our mediation in helping our couples and their families. When there is a need for the services of other professionals to help the parties make informed decisions, we can provide referrals as needed. These professionals may include accountants, financial planners, financial advisers, business valuators, appraisers, pension experts, debt consolidation advisers, real estate professionals, career coaches, therapists, psychologists and counselors, etc.

Divorce Mediation is Far Less Costly Than a Litigated Divorce

“Using the mediation process is a great way to manage your finances and afford to be able to move on.”

- Diane
Shirley, Long Island, NY

What happens after the couple reaches an agreement?

Once the mediation has been completed and all the agreements are made, a legal agreement that incorporates all the issues covered in mediation will be drafted. This document will either be a Separation Agreement or a Stipulation of Settlement. The agreement will be the basis for the separation and divorce.

How long does mediation take and how much does it cost?

A mediated divorce usually takes between 4 and 15 hours. Fees are based on an hourly basis and the final legal agreement is a separate charge. You will find that mediation costs a fraction of what it would cost to hire two attorneys and engage in a protracted and acrimonious conflict.