To Complete or Not To Complete

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Ada L. Hasloecher2017-01-24T05:11:36-05:00Categories: Children & Divorce, Divorce/Separation Emotions, Family & Divorce, Finances & Divorce, Mediation Process, Perspective, Separation & Divorce Mediation, Three|Tags: Collaborative Divorce, Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Legal Separation, Mediation, Separation Agreements|2 Comments

2 Comments

Adam Krim February 13, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Great blog post hinting at the emotional roller coaster which often accompanies separation and divorce. Since we take actions to satisfy our emotions, the phenomenon of taking long breaks in the mediation makes sense. If there is no burning issue or “need” to be fixed, why change the status quo? While this may be short-sighted, it is human – people do it all the time.
Daniel Burns February 20, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Ada,
Great article. I have had many similiar situations in my own practice and have often wondered why a couple, who started out in such a hurry, put everything on hold for 6 months or a year. The point you make about mediation allowing them to do this while they “test” out the terms they are considering is something I had not really considered before but now realize that is often the case.

"Almost from the date we signed the Settlement Agreement, it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in I don’t know how many years, Brenda and I can have a conversation that is not fraught with tension. We can talk peacefully and respectfully to each other - it’s easier to be kind because the hostility is gone. I am not sure if the word “friends” applies but I would say the caring remains, and I am able to be supportive without taking ownership of problems and challenges. I am pleased to say that Brenda has become more than serviceably competent, even in the matter of her finances which she agonized over so profusely. I again thank you for all you did in helping us get through one of the hardest things either of us had to do. There is a peaceful life on the other side. I am glad to say that I am quite pleased that we can both live our lives now without the rancor and animosity. You did a yeoman’s work on our behalf and I, for one am grateful."

Mark H.

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To Complete or Not To Complete

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