“I’ll See You In Court!”

{2:54 minutes to read} It’s almost cliché. And if this unrealistic expectation that “justice” will be served wasn’t so incredibly sad, it would almost be what my mother calls “tragic comedy.”

And yet, “I’ll see you in court” or “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer” are pretty incendiary words, spoken with naïve expectations, in total exasperation and often (fortunately) as an idle threat. But they sting nonetheless to the person on the receiving end of this warning. AND the person issuing this edict means it… at the time.

As a general rule, couples come to mediation because they want to do two things:

1. Get through the separation as amicably as possible
2. Save money

If they want to do BOTH at the same time, then the mediation can go rather smoothly. This is not to say that it’s a bed of roses, but the intention is to resolve things together, keeping their eyes on the shared goal.

Some couples come to do things amicably but know that there are serious issues and that it’s not going to be a “lickety split” path to resolution. They also know that mediation may take a little longer than they would prefer, but because they are invested in the process, they are aware that mediation is definitely going to be quicker and a LOT less expensive than going the litigation route.

Then there are the couples who come mainly to save money. In these cases, there is usually deep enmity between them but still they think mediation will take only a few sessions and cost only a few thousand dollars. These are the cases from which those threatening and unrealistic warnings about “seeing you in court” stem.

You know who else you’ll be seeing in court?

1. Your lawyer. At “$cha-$ching” their hourly rate while you pay him/her for their travel time AND waiting time at the courthouse as you and he/she cool your respective heels waiting for your case to be called… or postponed to yet another day!
2. Your lawyer. Oh yes, I already said that. But you’ll be back in court again and again… asking your attorney why there is yet another postponement and why they have to charge you for their time when it wasn’t your fault!
3. The countless other hapless war-weary sojourners – bleary-eyed, tired, fed up and angry sitting on those hard wooden benches expecting that THIS time, their case will be resolved.

Save your money! Save your life! Put that time, money and energy into resolving things together. You’ll most likely work out a better settlement than what you will end up with after 2, 3 or more years of litigation and thousands and thousands of dollars that you could have put into your children’s 529 college savings account. No kidding.

“I’ll see you in court!” Really? Mediation is the better approach. Believe me!