‘Tis The Season… Blah, Blah, Blah

{4:00 minutes to read} I started to write this article just before Thanksgiving but realized it wouldn’t be posted in time. I was going to call it: THANKSgiving or ThanksGIVING? I’ve always been intrigued by the two different places that people put the accent – either on the first syllable or the second one. If someone is from the south, they may say “THANKSgiving” kind of like the way they say UMbrella. But I have a friend from Pittsburgh who pronounces it that way. Go figure.

Perhaps where you put the emphasis casts a different light on how you view the holiday. Are you giving thanks as in THANKSgiving? Or are you thinking of the giving nature of the holiday as in ThanksGIVING? Does it really matter? I suppose not. The whole idea of this holiday is to spend it with family, friends and loved ones, gorging on turkey, stuffing, pecan pie…. and then sprawling over various sofas and recliners to watch football and catch some zzzz’s, sleeping off the tryptophan. Now THAT’S Thanksgiving!

But honestly, this is a tough time of year for so many people, especially those going through a transition of their traditional family structure. Trying to put on a happy face while slogging through the throes of a separation or divorce is, well…trying. Only those who have gone through it really know how heartrending this can be. If only you could pull the blanket over your head Thursday morning and wake up on Friday, right?

Although friends and family want to be supportive, most of the time there really isn’t much they can say that’s going to make you feel any better. Couple this with not wanting to rain on their parade and it’s a recipe for a double slice of angst pie. Being alone may not be much help either. I did that one year and it was one of the worst and longest nights of my life!

And it’s not just Thanksgiving – it’s the groundswell of ALL the holidays, festivities and parties that start this time of year up to and through January 1st. Ouch!

Here’s the thing. Everyone thinks everyone else is having a swell time during the holidays, but that’s not necessarily true.  Just ask anyone what they’re doing, and you’ll hear an earful of

• Too much family;
• Having to prepare and accommodate special food requests/allergies;
• Travel arrangement disasters;
• Sibling squabbles …

You get the picture. That doesn’t mean you’ll be relieved that you’re not spending it in the ways you always have, but know that this is probably the one holiday that stresses people out the most. It’s that “one meal holiday” with fantasies of the Norman Rockwell picture of the perfect, middle American family smiling around the table… and we think that’s the way it’s “supposed to be.” Well guess what? It ain’t.

So whatever it takes to get through it, that’s what you do. And it’s not for anyone to judge either. It’s a 24-hour day in a year of 24-hour days. This too shall pass. And it will be different next year. I promise.