Home-Moaning

{4 minutes to read}  In a separation and divorce, when it comes to dividing assets and debts, the retirement plans and the marital home are the two biggies. I’ve discussed retirement plans in previous articles. Now let’s focus on the house.

Nothing is more rife with emotion and financial concern than what is to happen with the house. After all, everyone has to live somewhere, right?

Here are some of the issues we discuss in mediation:

1. Perhaps you want the kids to remain in the school district until they start middle school or high school or go off to college.
2. Perhaps the mortgage is too high for either spouse to continue to live there.
3. Perhaps the house is “under water” (meaning the value of the house is less than the existing mortgage).
4. Perhaps one spouse needs the proceeds from a refinancing or sale in order to purchase a new home.
5. Is the house going to immediately be put up for sale?
6. Is one spouse going to continue to live in the house and if so, for how long?
7. If #6 is in play, what is the timing of either a refinancing or sale in order for the other spouse to come off the mortgage and the deed?
8. What if an unrelated individual moves into the house until the refi or sale?
9. How are the repairs on the house going to be handled?
10. Who is going to manage the myriad tasks such as landscaping, gutter cleaning, snow blowing, chimney sweeping… and the like?

While all of these points are addressed, there is something that at first may seem like a little thing, but actually is not as innocuous as it may appear. In the list above, I mentioned in #9 & #10: the repairs and management of the house. My husband, who is a carpenter and contractor, dubbed the word “Home Moaning” to put a funny name on a condition that every homeowner can relate to — you know what I’m talking about.

Owning a home is kind of like painting a bridge. By the time you get done, you have to start all over again. It’s an endless task. Many of the things don’t necessarily fall in a linear pattern such as spring and fall landscaping clean up. Stuff happens. And when it does, it usually has to be addressed immediately. Who does the day to day, week to week, month to month on-going chores that are required to maintain the house in good, working order fall on? If it falls to the spouse who may or may not have handled them alone before, what is going to happen now? If they can’t do it themselves, that means hiring professionals to do it and that has to be considered in the monthly budget — a significant item that should not be overlooked.

I guess the bigger question is this: Is keeping the house so important that you are willing to continue to be responsible for all the management, upkeep, and maintenance responsibilities? Sometimes couples get so caught up in who is going to stay and who is going to move out, that they miss the details of ownership that make Home Moaning a reality.