My Thanks GIVING to My Clients

{4:30 minutes to read}

In the spirit of the season of gratitude and giving, this is a special thank you to all of my clients. This is a thank you to those who have fulfilled the promise of mediation, those who throughout the years, have entrusted me with their care, and to those who tried with all their might to attempt it, despite the thwarting of their partners.

It truly has been my privilege to serve you. I know how difficult and sometimes heartrending the situation can be. Especially during challenging mediations, sometimes it’s hard for me to know if I’m even making a difference. After one such mediation was completed and the couple received the final judgement of divorce, I received an email from the husband who wrote the following:

“Thank you Ada for all your help. This is bittersweet as I am glad it’s over but I’m heartbroken this has happened. I know at times I was pretty emotional but I wanted to thank you. You probably never really knew how much you helped me. At times I felt crazy and alone but you always made me feel more centered and clear, so thank you!”

Thank YOU for letting me know that. While mediation is a work in progress, so am I. And you, my dear clients, have taught me a great deal. I am open to the learning — in fact, I am humbled by it. You have inspired many things in me, particularly the following:

Courage

What it takes to sit down together, work things out and endure the difficulties and challenges required to come up with an agreement when you would prefer not to be here in the first place. That takes grit. We mediators understand that people often come to mediation because they simply cannot afford attorneys. I commend those clients for toughing it out and showing me the strength it took to do so.

Creativity

My clients have come up with all sorts of fascinating and creative solutions to their problems. Problem solving is one of the things we do in mediation and there are times when my clients simply amaze me with their ingenuity and imagination. By rolling up their sleeves and tackling things together, they often come up with innovative approaches that would never have occurred to me.

Patience

Mediation has taught me to take a deep breath, step back, and gain perspective to look at the big, big picture while allowing the nitty gritty to get worked out. I always say to my clients that during the process it may feel like we’re spinning several plates in the air at the same time. Ultimately, they come together and not with a crash, but with a synergy that can be dazzling. How long this takes is up to the clients and their individual situation. I’ve had clients who took 4 years to complete their process. It’s my honor to hold the space for them to get the work done in whatever time frame they set.

Perseverance

And finally this: It takes determination to see a mediation through. It may seem that working with lawyers will ultimately save one from having to face things head-on and avoid having to make decisions themselves — and perhaps to some degree that may be so. But in the end, especially with couples with children, they have to find a way to work together, communicate effectively and cobble an agreement that is in their children’s best interests.

And nobody can do that but YOU. So hanging in there to work it out is nothing less than noble. I applaud, and am in awe of you.

Thank you with all my heart and Happy Thanksgiving!