Separation/Divorce: What Does My Cell Phone Have To Do With Your Mediation?

My smart phone died. It just would not take the charge anymore. I had replaced the charger several times since had I purchased it last May. It seemed that there was something wrong with the port inside the phone which would not allow it to accept and connect with the phone. Of course this all happened the day I was leaving for the annual NY State Council on Divorce Mediation (NYSCDM) conference and would be away for four days! I did manage to use someone else’s charger which provided a modicum of service – just enough to get me through the conference until I returned home to find out what my options were.

I went back to the store where I purchased the phone (Store #1) to get another charger, but this time it was determined that it was not the charger, it was the phone itself and I was told that I had to go to my wireless service provider (Store #2) to get a new replacement phone. Fortunately, the phone was still under the one year manufacturer’s warranty, but that is where my fortune ended.

Here is as brief a synopsis as I can muster to explain what happened once I went down the rabbit hole of smart phone “service.”

Store #2 also determined that the problem was indeed the phone and not the charger. But wait…. They could not give me a new phone right then and there. Corporate policy: One would be mailed to me within five business days. Are you kidding??! What am I supposed to do until then? Well, they can give me a temporary phone; but I’d have to leave a huge deposit and then wrestle with them making sure I received the refund on it once my “new phone” arrives. Which leads me to the next issue:

Once the phone arrived, I saw that it was a “refurbished” phone not a brand new one. Oh, didn’t I read the fine print where it says that upon replacement of your phone, you will be furnished with a “refurbished” phone? I missed that. And when I expressed my displeasure about receiving a refurbished phone, everyone looked at me as if I were an idiot because “ everyone knows” you don’t get a new phone! I didn’t. (And by the way – neither did most of the people I shared this debacle with either.)

Now I had to go back to Store #2 (back and forth) with my refurbished phone for them to sync everything, and while there, I found out that this refurbished phone had a warranty of only ninety days. If the phone, or any part thereof, decides to break down on the ninety-first…. well, you know. AND to add insult to injury, they won’t replace the safety shield either.

Now, I have to go back to Store #1 to deal with the shield issue (back and forth, back and forth). Store #1’s new store policy is NOT to hand you over the (still under warranty) safety shield of which they have many. NO, I have to go home, (back and forth, back and forth, back and forth) go online and order it from the manufacturer. But wait! I needed an account number to do that and did not have one (because why should I?) so I had to wait until Monday to call the company because they don’t have business hours on the weekend. On Monday when I called, I found out that I had to pay the shipping cost and wait five business days for the shield to arrive! Upon receiving the new shield, I had to mail the old one back or pay the full price for the replacement.

So now I’m stuck with the schlocky shield that comes with the refurbished phone that has printing all over it until the new one arrives. Then, I have to go back to Store #1 (back and forth, back and forth, back and forth) to have them place the shield on my phone because you only have one shot at getting it onto the face of the phone and if you mess it up… well you know. I’m still waiting for the replacement shield as I write this. Hopefully only one more trip back to Store #1 until I’m eligible for an upgrade in January and then we start the game all over again! When the very lovely and able assistant at Store #1 asked me what else he could do to help me, I said: “Please give me a ticket back to twenty years ago when we didn’t have to deal with this stuff!”

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth – the loaded cost of my time, my money, my aggravation! Then it occurred to me. This is great fodder for an article on why mediation is the way to go versus litigation. My experience with the phone fiasco mirrors pretty closely what happens when you attempt to get justice served in the court system. It’s never a straight line, where everything gets resolved in one fell swoop!

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. The time! Your time for taking time off from work to make calls, consult with your attorney, go to court. The money! Your money to pay your attorney to be in court while you wait for your turn, gas in the car, time off from work. The aggravation! Your aggravation to find out that your soon to be ex-spouse and/or their attorney had to postpone the court date yet again which you just found out about. Get the picture?

When you add it all up, the loaded costs are really tremendous, especially when you take into account all the back and forth and back and forth of trying to handle, to deal with, to fix something that on the face of it, just didn’t seem to be that complicated when you first embarked on the journey.

Smart phones are not going to go away, nor is separation or divorce. In a separation or divorce, you can lower that loaded cost in time, money, and aggravation through mediation. The smart phone?? Well, you know….

If you know anyone who would be interested in reading this blog, do not hesitate to forward it. Please feel free to use the Comments Box below to ask any questions, to comment, or to request more information.