Torquing The Lug Nuts

{4:12 minutes to read} My worst nightmare. I’m on my way to visit my sister in New Hampshire and halfway there, barreling off 290 E in Massachusetts onto 495 N, when I first hear it and then smell it – a blown rear tire – driver side! I pull off onto the shoulder, take a deep breath and remind myself:

• It’s daylight;
• I’m not in a foreign country; and
• Help can be on the way with a cell phone call.

A bummer… but not a catastrophe.

I call my sister to tell her I’ll obviously be delayed, then I call Toyotacare (I have a Prius), and the lovely young lady walks me through the protocol of having someone come and affix the “donut” tire tucked into my trunk and get me on my way. Phew! I sit there for an hour until my rescuer arrives with nary a police car to be seen.

My knight finally shows up. I roll down my window and thank him profusely asking him if there is anything more pathetic than a woman with a flat tire. He laughs and says “Yes – a woman with a flat tire who then becomes my wife and then becomes my EX WIFE.” We share a good laugh – especially when I tell him that I’m a divorce mediator!

At last I’m on my way, driving no more than 55 miles an hour on the spare and adding at least 45 minutes to the trip. The next day, I take the car into the local tire shop and find out that not only do they have to give me a new tire for the blowout, but:

• I’ve been practically driving on the rim of the front driver side tire; AND
• The rear passenger side tire has a piece of metal in it.

I call my husband that night to get instructions on what I should do. Frustrated as he is, he is happy I’m safe and tells me to go ahead, let them change all 4 tires and call it a day. BUT, he informs me –  after they change the tires, be sure to drive around a little bit and then go back to the shop so they can . . . wait for it: “torque the lug nuts.” What??! “Yes, they have to torque the lug nuts after the tires are changed to tighten everything up.”

The next morning, I go back to the shop to pick up the car and can’t say the words “torque the lug nuts” to the mechanic, without breaking out into hysterical laughter. Of course, he understands exactly what my husband has instructed and tells me that HE was going to tell me the same thing. Who knew?

So what does this have to do with mediation? Well, sometimes couples come back to mediation to tighten up their Agreement after they’ve been living with it for a while. As with the new tires – everything looks good when it’s up on the lift. But it’s only once the car is back on the road that you find out if things need a bit of tweaking, tightening, torquing, if you will.

So don’t be surprised if, once your mediation is completed, you need to return to “torque those lug nuts!”