Who Bears the Costs of the Emancipated Child?

{3:54 minutes to read} An oxymoronic question, no? Actually, no, it’s not. An oxymoron as defined by Merriam-Webster is “a combination of contradictory or incongruous words.” According to the NY State guidelines, child support ends at 21, but an issue many couples are now raising is: What if the child continues to live at home? How do parents address support for that child?

This is the question many couples are asking in the face of a new financial reality with their children. Kids are graduating college later and later — many not finishing up in the old 4-year timeframe. For those children who are living at home while they attend college, many continue to stay there until they find employment that pays them enough to live on their own. Others come back home once they do graduate for the same or similar reasons. In either case, they are home and are either unemployed or under-employed. What is a parent to do?!

The Child Support Standards Act, which sets forth the guidelines for child support in New York State, lists among the emancipating events for support:

1. A child attains age 21 years of age

2. A child marries

3. A child enters the armed forces

4. A child attains the age of 18 years and becomes full-time employed

Some couples agree that if a child is still enrolled in college and expects to graduate at 22 or even 23, they will continue to pay support. However, what about the “child” who has graduated and is still living with the “custodial” parent? Who bears the costs of having to house, feed, clothe and pay for car insurance and other extra expenses that the parties agreed to share when the child was un-emancipated?

Many parents agree that they may want to:

1. Give the child a chance to enjoy the end of college and graduate

2. Have that child take a breath and regroup over the summer

3. Give them time to get those resumes out, begin the job search and have the opportunity to get on their financial feet, so to speak

Regardless of what the guidelines suggest, parents are faced with a new reality. In mediation, we can talk about these things. It’s important — very important — especially to the parent with whom the child continues to reside. Generally, both parents tend to agree that they’re not going to “throw the child out of the nest,” but what are they going to do?

1. With which parent should/could the child reside in the interim?

2. How will parents share the costs of housing, feeding, paying for extra expenses?

3. What does the timing look like for when the child AND the parents intend to let go?

Some have suggested that, when the Affordable Care Act was passed and it was permissible for parents to continue covering children on their health insurance plan until the age of 26, by default, we moved the “attitude” of an emancipating event to a later age. Hmmmm.

A “new normal” for parents and new fodder for discussion in mediation.