Conduct Becoming

As part of my summer reading, I just finished a wonderful biography on Queen Elizabeth called Elizabeth the Queen, The Life of a Modern Monarch. What an incredible story! And a living, breathing one that continues to be played out. I have a renewed and profound respect for Elizabeth II and an acute appreciation for her skills as an extraordinary human being as well as the ultimate diplomat and mediator – yes, a mediator!

The book spans her life from birth through her childhood when at ten years old, she watched as her father, the heir presumptive King George VI, quite reluctantly took the throne when his eldest brother Edward, forsook it for the “woman he loved.” At 27, upon her father’s death, Elizabeth ascended to the throne, and began her reign guided by Winston Churchill, her first and most august of prime ministers. During her reign she has lived to see 12 prime ministers and vast winds of change not only throughout the world, but in her ever-changing Commonwealth of Nations, and her personal and private life. Through all of this, she conducts herself with grace, dignity, steadfastness, humility and for those who know her personally – a marvelous sense of humor. She is truly one in a million – nay, many millions!

In reading the book, I came to admire her tremendously for how she approaches the life that was chosen for her and her numerous and unending obligations. She approaches them not as a burden, but as a privilege, borne from some inner light that she fortunately possesses. With the obligation to that duty on her petite shoulders as a young queen, she rose to the occasion and at 87, continues to rise. She unstintingly keeps up her steady stream of work and responsibilities. She is unflappable in every occasion and stands as a beacon of conscientious dedication, and an ambassador of goodwill in a breathless world that sometimes seems upside down and inside out.

How do the lessons I learned from her relate to mediation? Elizabeth has a tenacious penchant for conciliation and peacemaking. Although she does not have executive powers, whether entertaining guests at Balmoral, Windsor or Buckingham Palace, she takes a personal hand in creating an atmosphere of relaxation and ease, and then she quietly strategizes to bring people and nations together in the most unobtrusive and elegant ways.

Similarly, a mediator is not the decision maker, but creates an environment within which couples can work out their differences, come up with a satisfactory Agreement, and move on with their lives.

Elizabeth, when asked how, even at her current age, she can stand for hours on her feet, sometimes in withering heat or torrential downpours, counters with her strategy for positioning her feet just so, so she can remain balanced and at ease. Yes, strategies for preparedness and readiness, always pacing herself, open to change and game for anything that advances the cause of peace.    

Lessons in conduct becoming for the mediator and the mediated.