Good Luck and Smooth Sailing

{3:24 to read}  For those of you who have been reading my blogs for some time, you know that I am very serious about my work. Couples separating and family structures transitioning are huge events in people’s lives. I do, however, try to put as much of a gentle spin on things as possible because as serious as the situation is, we do have our light moments. When I can, I count on those times to keep my clients from delving into the depths of despair.

One rainy, cold Sunday afternoon this past winter, Turner Classic Movies showed an old war movie called Action In The North Atlantic (1943) with Humphrey Bogart, Raymond Massey, Ruth Gordon and Alan Hale. It’s one of those classic black and white “give ‘em hell” war movies from a time when everyone was pulling together for the war effort. When I was a kid, I remember watching this movie with my Dad and, in fact, many of the war movies of the time.

Even back then, the notion of war — the destruction, the devastation, the upheaval was something that disturbed me greatly. I still feel that way. But there was something about these films that, to this day, moved me. The movies were not so much about the war itself as they were about the men and women involved in it and their relationships with each other. The war was often the backdrop that gave a sense of urgency and intensity to these relationships. That old adage, “Nothing focuses the mind like the hangman’s noose,” comes to mind.

During my consultation, I often liken the work we do in mediation to launching a ship. The mediation is dry dock, where we batten down the hatches, plug up the holes and set our sails so that once the ship is 60 miles offshore, all the necessary work has been done to secure the vessel no matter what may come its way.

So back to the movie: There is a seminal scene where the commander comes marching down the center aisle of the Quonset hut where all the seamen are anxiously awaiting their battle instructions. The commander pulls down the huge map, directs his pointer to it and tells the men about the dangerous mission they are about to embark on. In vivid detail, he outlines the assignment, and when he is done, there is total silence in the room. He then turns back to his men and says: “Good luck and smooth sailing.”

Good luck and smooth sailing — love that! And this is the silent prayer I feel in my heart when my couples complete mediation.