Is Anger Necessary Or A Waste of Time?

{3 minutes to read}  Think about the last time you were really, really angry either at someone or something. It was probably because you felt an injustice was done. Anger can be a very good motivator. After you allow the anger and outrage to be experienced and have taken stock of your opinion/position/stand on what just happened, you may feel compelled to do something, right? Let’s hope so. Because anger in and of itself can be paralyzing.

They say anger turned inward is depression. Anger turned outward?

The question is HOW you express that anger. If you are spewing venom, hurling violence either verbally or physically — not good. However, if anger is allowed to be expressed wisely and compassionately spent, it can be a force for good.

Are you kidding?! How can I express anger wisely and compassionately? Perhaps by starting to say what is real for YOU and the effect and consequence of the injustice to YOU. That can certainly elicit more understanding and thus, move the conversation forward.

Then there is your willingness to take effective action on what is making you angry, and making a change. And herein lies the rub: Will you do that? Can you do that?

I heard an interesting story on NPR a while ago about the indigenous people of the northwest, the Inuits, who don’t cultivate and encourage anger in their community. They think it’s a total waste of time. Why is that? Their explanation was that they live in a very difficult environment, so in order to survive they need to channel their energies into solving the physical challenges they face every day. If they waste their time getting angry at a situation, it only serves to distract them from the pressing matters at hand, and they can’t afford to do that. A broken fishing line has to be fixed right away and no amount of anger is going to make that happen. Fascinating.

What’s on the other side of anger? If it’s more anger … where do you go with that? What is to be gained by wallowing in it?

In mediation, we do deal with anger (and sometimes plenty of it). As I said before, it’s really important for it to be expressed and sometimes the mediation is the one, safe place for that to occur. After a while, however, we have to hunker down and focus on the task of figuring out how to move the family forward in every way that’s important. If you stay angry and never move from that exhausting emotion, the very thing that is making you angry can double up on itself. Thus the paralysis… and frustration. How long can one sustain anger without it affecting one’s emotional, mental and physical health anyway?

Is anger necessary? It may be.

Is it a waste of precious time? Not if your anger is focused on constructively resolving the task at hand.

I’m with the Inuits on this one.