Separation/Divorce: Irked

As I was driving to the office one day in early February and listening to NPR (National Public Radio), I noticed that not one, but several broadcasters during the course of the programming, pronounced the month of February as Feb-U-ary. Now these are well educated, well read professionals so I was a little taken aback by the mispronunciation. And it bothered me. Is it so difficult to put the RU in FebRUary? Is it really such a tongue twister? This is not the first time I’ve noticed this trend, but lately it seems to be coming thick and fast and I wondered why I was so irked by it.

My birthday is in FebRUary and I guess I feel a bit proprietary about the month. I also majored in Latin and Greek way back when and therefore languages, in all their incarnations have always held a fascination for me. In studying etymology (origin or development of a word….) over the years, I do know that it’s natural for words, their meanings as well as their pronunciations to change over the course of time. It’s the natural evolution of things. Once upon a time, the word “nice” meant simple – as in simple-minded.

So I really thought about the reaction I had to hearing Feb-U-ary instead of Feb-RU-ary. It’s a little ridiculous I know when there are so many other things to be bothered about. But it’s the little things in life…. isn’t it?

In staying with my reaction of annoyance, I started to think about my clients and the little things that set them off. Often they will work out the big issues with no problem but then get jammed on who gets to keep the flat screen TV; Or one parent will insist on being the “residential custodial” parent on paper even though they have worked out a shared custody arrangement; I had one client insist that the other spouse reimburse her the modicum of expense for the additional health premium for their child, even though money was not an issue for either of them; and then there was the tug-o-war over the Papa Smurf figurine.

We are not always aware of why something means something to us, or bothers us. It can be such a little thing on the face of it, but upon closer inspection, we find that there is a deeper, more profound need or fear that somehow is not being met. Or perhaps it brings up old wounds and without realizing it, we attach significance to something that has no relevance to the issue at hand.

As I rode in the car, pondering this, I asked myself what was really irking me about the mis-pronunciation of the month of February. And you know what? I couldn’t come up with a single, rational reason other than “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to….”

Oh, and be careful who you call “nice”.
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