{3:42 minutes to read} I have written this blog prior to, and you will be receiving it when we are on the other side of, the 2016 presidential election. So how are you feeling? Exhausted? Spent? Disgusted? Pretty bad, huh? And it ain’t over even when it should be over. There are promises that the feuds are just beginning no matter who “wins.”
A few weeks ago, the PBS NewsHour posted one of their “factoids” in between stories about the campaign which stated that 52% of Americans polled (no matter what their political affiliation) were experiencing high levels of stress over it. That’s huge! I feel their pain; I’ve been sick over it myself.
This election year has been particularly upsetting on so many levels – it’s hard to know where to begin:
- Adults acting like children.
- Vitriolic and disgusting advertising.
- Finger pointing.
- Non-stop shame, blame and make wrong…
…you name it.
The campaign has been about practically everything except what matters most to the citizenry of this country: The economy, national security, healthcare, and immigration. Big stuff. But no – instead the adults in the room behaved like recalcitrant pre-teens balking, name-calling, distracting… everything but taking care of business and acting like the authority figures we need them to be.
And here we are, ordinary citizens watching this unfold with fascination and fear; anguish and anxiety; worry and wonder. What is going to happen to US? Does anyone care about our everyday lives and what matters most to us?
And that, my friends, is what a vitriolic divorce feels like to your kids. There is a great line from the musical Man of LaMancha where Sancho Panza says: “Whether the stone hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the stone… it’s going to be BAD for the pitcher.” Think about it.
Think about the torment you have felt watching not only the two people vying to be your president stoop so low to conquer, but all the OTHER adults taking sides, weighing in, making sport of the whole sordid affair. Think about what this feels like to your kids.
They are innocent, blameless and totally at effect of your behavior. It’s miserable. And a misery without end until you decide to stop.
I implore you to consider the cost you have paid to watch the insanity unfold; the cost you have paid to behold the low ebb of our democracy in action; the cost you have paid to your health, wellbeing and peace of mind.
Consider your children as you consider your separation. You and only you have the power to change course, take the high road and think of those innocents who are depending on you to be the adults in the room.
If this election did nothing else but highlight who you don’t want to be and how you don’t want to behave….it may have been worth it.
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Wonderfully said Ada!
Love this piece, Ada! It’s seductive to respond in kind to bad behavior, but as Gandhi said “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” Modeling good behavior despite hardship and opposition is our next best growing edge. I love the correlation you make between the election madness and the madness children feel when their parents are separating.