divorce and family mediation center, llc

Mediation, The Sensible Approach

Contact Us Today - 631-585-5210 - info@dfmcli.com

Who Is Frida Kahlo and How Did She Influence My Mediation?

Who Is Frida Kahlo and How Did She Influence My Mediation? by Ada Hasloecher

Source: Taken by User:Peter Andersen {{GFDL}} https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

{4:24 minutes to read} Frida Kahlo de Rivera was a prolific Mexican artist, political activist and fascinating character. She was born in 1907 and died in 1954. After suffering a debilitating injury in a bus accident as a young girl, she was bed-bound for years. In order to cheer her up, her father bought her an easel and paints, and thus began her life’s work.

She married the famous muralist Diego Rivera and they had a raucous and tumultuous affair, marriage, and in the end, enduring friendship. I first came to know her and her work through the 2002 movie “Frida” which was produced by and starred Salma Hayek, and directed by Julie Taymor. It was a stunning story and equally stunning movie. A veritable feast for the eyes.

Taymor used the vibrant colors of Mexico to bring the equally vibrant story of Frida to light. I was particularly struck by the brilliant blue outer walls of Frida’s famed home, which she shared with Rivera. I knew when I watched the movie again for the 4th time that I was going to do something in my home using that color.

I suggested to my husband that we should paint the 3½ foot concrete foundation wall at the side of our house and create a dynamic space for placing our potted and colorful annual flowers. At first he was not convinced, but I promised him that if he hated it, we would repaint to a less bold color. The more we talked about it, the more excited I became.

We decided this was the summer we were going to clear the area of bricks, pavers and other garden debris we hid on that side of the house and get cracking. And so we did. He did the lion’s share of the grunt work, although I did help when we moved about 2 tons of bricks away to clear the wall and create a clean palette.

My husband, Bob, has a very good eye; he dabbles in a host of creative arts and is a born gardener. He and I have a very similar esthetic. We rarely disagreed about how to decorate our home—both inside and out. Yet, whenever he would come up with ideas about what we should do on the side of the house, I found myself getting annoyed at his suggestions. I mean, after all, this was MY idea, and I had MY ideas about what we should do, what it should look like and how the arrangement of plants, bricks and other garden ornaments should go.

The more he shared his vision with me, however, the more I realized that he was coming up with some very interesting and creative ideas that hadn’t occurred to me. At first, I could feel my back go up every time he brought these things up. But after a while I found myself relaxing and not internally fighting him as he waxed poetical about OUR project.

So, I let go of having to be right. And as I did, we began to come up with some really exciting ideas about what was, up until now, a very neglected piece of real estate. It reminded me of couples who, together, often come up with creative and imaginative ideas for parenting plans, dividing their assets, etc.

My experience helped me gain even more clarity about the positions we hold onto, and why letting go of them can often be a very good thing. Thank you, Frida!

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Ada L. Hasloecher

Divorce Mediator / Center Founder
Divorce & Family Mediation Center, LLC
Phone: 631-585-5210
eMail: Info@DFMCLI.com
Connect on On Facebook

Leave A Comment