Why Do Mediation Organizations Matter To Our Clients?

I just returned from the inaugural Conference of the Academy of Professional Family Mediators (APFM) in Cape Cod. What a conference! APFM is a newly formed, national and international organization with members from all over the world. As a founding board member and conference committee member, it was incredibly rewarding to see the confluence of dedicated professional family mediators share ideas, exchange resources, attend plenaries, workshops and seminars en masse. The rooms were full and people were thoroughly engaged. There were many educational and social opportunities to reconnect with old friends and forge new ones. The buzz was palpable!

I belong to several mediation organizations: The New York State Council on Divorce Mediation (NYSCDM) of which I am a board member and The Family and Divorce Mediation Council of Greater New York (FDMC) to name a few. I believe that each and every one has something unique and special to offer. What they all have in common is a feeling among their members of solidarity, collegiality and a generous “We’re In This Together” spirit as we help couples navigate their way through transitioning their families.

 Our attention and focus is on couples and families. People come to us:

• To provide mediation services to help them separate and/or divorce

• To mediate pre and postnuptial agreements

• For marital mediation to assist in smoothing the way toward preserving the current family structure

• For help in elder care issues, a burgeoning arena

• For additional resources that they need to help make the transition easier (therapists, financial planners, accountants)

• To assist resolving nuclear, as well as “extended” family issues that may not be resolvable in a therapeutic setting

• Mediate family business issues

Whichever of these mediation services our clients need from us, we family mediators agree on one main thing: Our clients do better with us than they do in the court system. To quote one of our colleagues: “You cannot adjudicate family matters.” So true!

We do noble work. I’ve heard this said many times by people who are not mediators. A dear friend of mine calls mediation “An Enlightened” profession. The courage and fortitude it takes to assist our clients with the complicated and complex issues of families in transition, is not for the faint of heart. It’s a privilege to be in the company of those who take this stand – many of whom have been at it since its inception in the mid 70’s. Their presence at the Conference, be it physical or spiritual, was moving. We stand on the shoulders of these courageous giants as we continue the tradition and carry on the vocation.

The passion, devotion, enthusiasm and dedication of my family mediation colleagues never ceases to amaze me. I’m proud to take my place among them and dare to carry the torch forward.

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